noelly
08-26-2005, 11:51 PM
What a difficult message to write. I'm writing to say goodbye, basically. I've been in South Florida for about 8 years now. The first person I ever actually got to know in Florida was a TV, her name was China. I remember the excitement of it all, the unpredictability. I had a girlfriend at the time, whom I loved very much. Where she was in my mind at that moment, who knows. Deep in my heart, I think she would have understood, she longed for adventure, just as I did.
Years went by, and I met other "girls". My life on that side of the fence is still a secret to my friends and loved ones. I just don't think it's anyone's bu***ess. I remember a night in January, 2000, when I met Angel. After a very memorable first encounter, the first of many, she said to me, "I think that guys who loves transexuals are the very definition of straight. They love the ultimate kind of woman, a woman who can TRULY give them everything, no matter what it is.
At the time, it made a lot of sense to me. Even to this day, I don't consider myself gay ( I don't date men), and often when I am "categorizing" myself, I think back to what Angel said that night. A lot of time has passed, and I have been with a lot of the girls on the scene in this area, as I'm sure many of you have. Over the last couple of years, though, something has changed. Maybe it's me, maybe not, but where are the truly cool girls? It used to be I could be with a girl, and have great sex, and a really great conversation later on, lying in bed, just marinating in the moment. Angel was actually one of the first girls I ever paid for sex. i'm a pretty good looking guy, and before then, I rarely had to pay for sex,, it came in the natural course of events, just like dating in the real world.
I have a lot less of those conversations now, even though my lust for transexuals has not lessened. That is, until recently. I am 33 now, and I expect more from someone that I am with. I expect a mental connection, and, in the best of cases, a spiritual connection with them. Can people like us, whom God has turned their back on, ask for so much? Sure we can, because, as Angel said, we seek to love in the utmost, to the fullest degree. And we do love.
Angel, you forget this sometimes. You forget how much the men who choose to involve you in their lives, their hearts, and every other part of them, really love you. They love this moment in their lives, and for some, this is all they have. I am thankful to say that I have other passions in my life, but today, the scene is filled with girls that don't see past the cash on the dresser. They don't even consider the man standing in front of them as human sometimes. All of your readers have felt this at one time or another.
Angel, please share this with your friends, and I know many of them. Never to take for granted all of the love that is given you everyday, by the beautiful and the not so beautiful. By the young and not so young (because, in our hearts, we are all 17). If not for them, what would you all have? Where would you be? Who would love you? More importantly, who loves them? When was the last time someone made them feel beautiful, wanted, special? If you can do this, you will never walk alone, because we will all walk with you, whenever and whenever you want.
So, this month, call someone out of the blue, someone who has been a "friend" to you for a long time, and let them know that you think about them, even when their is no cash on the dresser. I am leaving this circle, because, lately, I leave feeling even emptier than when I came (literally). It is sad for me, because I miss the ******* people I have met, and gotten to know. I wonder where some of them are, and worry about some of them (some of your oldest friends, Angel, whom you should look after better than you do. She's up on Commercial, and is even bigger than you). But, it's not my place to worry, because, at the end of the day, Tgirls walk alone. By their own choice, not ours. So be it. My subscription to your website runs out at the end of this month. Best of luck to you, and all of the amazing girls I have gotten to know in this, an amazing chapter in my life. I have to go and find happiness of my own, because I just can't find it with you. I wish you all heaven. to all of your lovers, admirers, fans, I say, love Angel, love life, but first and foremost, love yourself, because without that, all the love you have for everyone else is just not real. God Bless you.
Noel
Years went by, and I met other "girls". My life on that side of the fence is still a secret to my friends and loved ones. I just don't think it's anyone's bu***ess. I remember a night in January, 2000, when I met Angel. After a very memorable first encounter, the first of many, she said to me, "I think that guys who loves transexuals are the very definition of straight. They love the ultimate kind of woman, a woman who can TRULY give them everything, no matter what it is.
At the time, it made a lot of sense to me. Even to this day, I don't consider myself gay ( I don't date men), and often when I am "categorizing" myself, I think back to what Angel said that night. A lot of time has passed, and I have been with a lot of the girls on the scene in this area, as I'm sure many of you have. Over the last couple of years, though, something has changed. Maybe it's me, maybe not, but where are the truly cool girls? It used to be I could be with a girl, and have great sex, and a really great conversation later on, lying in bed, just marinating in the moment. Angel was actually one of the first girls I ever paid for sex. i'm a pretty good looking guy, and before then, I rarely had to pay for sex,, it came in the natural course of events, just like dating in the real world.
I have a lot less of those conversations now, even though my lust for transexuals has not lessened. That is, until recently. I am 33 now, and I expect more from someone that I am with. I expect a mental connection, and, in the best of cases, a spiritual connection with them. Can people like us, whom God has turned their back on, ask for so much? Sure we can, because, as Angel said, we seek to love in the utmost, to the fullest degree. And we do love.
Angel, you forget this sometimes. You forget how much the men who choose to involve you in their lives, their hearts, and every other part of them, really love you. They love this moment in their lives, and for some, this is all they have. I am thankful to say that I have other passions in my life, but today, the scene is filled with girls that don't see past the cash on the dresser. They don't even consider the man standing in front of them as human sometimes. All of your readers have felt this at one time or another.
Angel, please share this with your friends, and I know many of them. Never to take for granted all of the love that is given you everyday, by the beautiful and the not so beautiful. By the young and not so young (because, in our hearts, we are all 17). If not for them, what would you all have? Where would you be? Who would love you? More importantly, who loves them? When was the last time someone made them feel beautiful, wanted, special? If you can do this, you will never walk alone, because we will all walk with you, whenever and whenever you want.
So, this month, call someone out of the blue, someone who has been a "friend" to you for a long time, and let them know that you think about them, even when their is no cash on the dresser. I am leaving this circle, because, lately, I leave feeling even emptier than when I came (literally). It is sad for me, because I miss the ******* people I have met, and gotten to know. I wonder where some of them are, and worry about some of them (some of your oldest friends, Angel, whom you should look after better than you do. She's up on Commercial, and is even bigger than you). But, it's not my place to worry, because, at the end of the day, Tgirls walk alone. By their own choice, not ours. So be it. My subscription to your website runs out at the end of this month. Best of luck to you, and all of the amazing girls I have gotten to know in this, an amazing chapter in my life. I have to go and find happiness of my own, because I just can't find it with you. I wish you all heaven. to all of your lovers, admirers, fans, I say, love Angel, love life, but first and foremost, love yourself, because without that, all the love you have for everyone else is just not real. God Bless you.
Noel